Online predators and scam artists don't take a summer vacation

JENNIFER WEISS Executive Director Jewish Family & Children's Service

Children have more free time than usual in the summer, so parents need to be more diligent about their activities, especially when they are online. Whether they're Facebooking or texting on their cell phone in the backseat of your car, our children seem to be constantly "connected." When they are typing away right in their own room, they may seem like they are safe, but unless you know exactly what they are doing, and who they are connecting with, they can actually be in more danger than if they were outside of your home.

Social networking sites are extremely popular among teenagers, and are growing in popularity with younger children. Kids use them to express their emotions and to connect with their friends and occasionally strangers. Unfortunately, many draw little distinction between real life and online life. They may use social websites designed for children such as Webkinz or sites designed for adults such as MySpace, Twitter, or Facebook. Whatever they're using, they should understand that many of these sites could be viewed by anyone with access to the Internet, who might potentially try to harm them.

Uunfortunately, some of the information kids post on their pages can make them vulnerable to phishing scams, cyber-bullying, and Internet predators. Some young people become addicted, and find their entire self-image challenged by so-called online

"friends," as well as total strangers who may pose as someone they know. For children or teens with fragile egos or low selfesteem, the realization that they have few real "friends" can be emotionally disastrous.

There are many ways you can help your kids use social websites more safely. Encourage your children to tell you if something they encounter on one of these sites makes them feel anxious, uncomfortable or threatened. Let them know you will help them resolve the situation. As soon as your children begin to use the Internet on their own, it is a good idea to come up with a list of rules that everyone can agree on.

The recommended age for signing up for social web sites is usually 13 and over. If your children are younger, do not let them use the sites. You cannot rely on the services themselves to keep your underage child from signing up. Educate yourself about the site and make sure both you and your child understand the privacy policy and the code of conduct. Also, review your child's page periodically. It's not a bad idea to sign up on the site yourself so you are totally familiar with it. If your child allows it, encourage him to share his password. This could lead to privacy issues, but should be non-negotiable for younger children.

Insist that your children never meet anyone in person that they've communicated with online only, and encourage them to communicate only with people they've met in person. Have them use only their first names or a nickname, but not a nickname that would attract inappropriate attention.

Photographs can reveal a lot of personal information. Encourage them not to post photographs of themselves or their friends with clearly identifiable details such as street signs or the name of their school on their sweatshirts. Kids like to write journals and poems that express strong emotions. Explain to them that many of these words can be read by anyone with access to the Internet and that predators often search out emotionally vulnerable kids.

Teach your children about cyber-bullying. Tell them that if they think they're being cyber-bullied, they should share this information right away with you or another adult they trust. It's also important to encourage kids to communicate with other people online in the same way they would face-to-face, and to treat other people the way they would want to be treated. Above all, emphasize that inappropriate online postings or risqué photos can come back to haunt them later when they apply to college or for a job.

If you follow these guidelines, your children can avoid many of the pitfalls of social networking. My report on my political advocacy trip to Washington DC will appear in the August column. Have a safe and happy summer!

(JFCS and Cong. Beth El hosted a workshop for parents called "Growing Up Online" to teach both parents and their children how to deal with potentially abusive issues that arise from social networking, whether among their friends or with strangers. Elementary school is not too early for students and their parents to become educated about social networking).  jweiss@jfedsnj.org