Shelach Lecha Numbers 13:1-15:41

This Torah portion, Shelach Lecha, comes to teach us that people will always perceive you as you perceive yourself. Most of the spies sent by Moshe to scout Canaan brought back a negative report. Here is what they said: "…we were like grasshoppers in our eyes, and so we were like in their eyes!" (Num. 13:33). They were right! Once they saw themselves as little bugs, how could they possibly think that the enemy would see them any differently?

Their own negative self-image became a self-fulfilling prophecy and a sure recipe for defeat. Gd knew this and that is why He made sure they had their leadership roles taken away. How could they possibly lead others when they couldn't even stand up straight themselves?

This portion teaches us a powerful lesson, indeed. Gd wants us to be secure and to have healthy self-images. So many people go around focusing on their weaknesses.

When they make mistakes they are hard and critical of themselves. One of the worst things you can do is to go through life against yourself; insecure and not enjoying life, not at peace with who you are. The first prerequisite to loving others is to love yourself. That is what the Torah means by "you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself." If you don't have a healthy respect for who you are; if you don't learn to accept yourself, faults and all, you're not going to be able to properly love other people. Did you know that the word in Hebrew for "fall in love"— mitahev—is reflexive? You can't give away what you don't have. But if you recognize that Gd is still working on you; if you learn to accept yourself, then you're going to be able to give that love away. You may have some faults, you may have some things about yourself you want to change. We all do. I don't know one person who does not need to change or grow in some aspect of his or her life. But as long as you are negative and critical, you just slow down the whole process of growth, of becoming the person Gd truly intends you to be.

Remember, the only way to change how you think others perceive you is to first change the way you see yourself. The secret really isn't to get them to change their view of you. Rather, it's to change the way you see yourself. When you do, the world will see you in a whole new light. But you can't bring about this change by thoughts alone. No, the quickest and simplest way to change how you see yourself is through deliberate action—not by thought or desire. When you start acting in a manner more consistent with who you want to become you'll see yourself growing and changing right there in the mirror. You'll be amazed at how, after a while, the people around you naturally follow your lead.

Hillel taught: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?" You have to be comfortable with yourself. "But if I am only for myself, what am I?" If you don't act the part of a person who cares about himself, no one will believe you can really care for them. "And if not now, when?" And it all starts now. Be a man with a plan and you will see that you can! .